“That’s her!”

Last year, I had several uplifting conversations with a woman from my church. 

She is a talented photographer and graphic design type who took some amazing pictures of Gather (coffee shop), and the team in action. She introduced me to algorithms on social media, and a new and trendy style of still-motion photography. Every time I'm around this woman, she leaves me smarter and sharper. 

At the beginning of Spring, I spotted her taking pictures at church one Sunday. I walked right up to her and told her how I felt - that she was brilliant, and that I want to be friends with her. That night I told my husband that I believed God had planted a seed of friendship in my life, and a few days later, her and her husband walked into Gather. Excitedly, I said, "Kai! That's her!" 

Months and months have gone by. ... We've chatted briefly, here & there, in passing. She brings her teenagers to Gather often, and studies her bible. After some time, I started feeling like maybe she has a hundred friends, and she doesn't have time for another one. Or maybe, she just doesn't want to be closer friends with me. Every time I would see her, I would die a little inside; feeling humiliated. ...

Yesterday, she walked into Gather. We small talked for a minute, like usual. She asked me if I remembered saying that I wanted to be friends. Embarrassed, I replied, “Yes... I remember.” Then, she exclaimed, “I've been waiting for you to say let's get together or something!”

Oh my gosh! Isn't life so funny... :) "This whole time," she said, and that she gets nervous around me! Geez! To be continued!

First Born.

I want to share something, some insight (perhaps), that I have witnessed a number of times, recently, while I’m out & about at the beach, at the pool, etc.

We would do well to remember that our first born (children) should not take the brunt or the blame for the episodes of the younger siblings. Example: If a younger sibling snatches a toy from the older, that is the initial behavior that needs to be addressed. Not that the older child should simply give up the toy in order to avoid the tantrum that will ensue. I am speaking to a generalization, I do realize this. I know there are exceptions. 

It has been my experience, that in coaching my first born to his leadership potential, as I believe God calls him to be a leader, I have to demonstrate holding the younger siblings accountable to their own personal development, as well.

It takes the extra effort. It takes patience & perseverance. But it’s the right measure to take. So that we establish a trustworthy rule in our homes. That we will investigate the volume manipulation that occurs.

Otherwise, I cannot expect to effectively empower my first born to love & lead his brothers by example.

We need to strengthen our conflict resolution before the resolution is strengthened by our conflict.

Rip Currents.

I was at the beach on Memorial Day. 

Five feet of water towered over me as the waves were coming in, one right after the other. They were not coming straight on, but rather, angling left. I signaled to my youngest son not to come out with his surfboard. Into the distance and over to the right, I can see those waves angling inward, as well. A tide coming to shore in a convergent path creates what's known as a Rip Current.

A rip current is a dangerous movement of water that is flowing powerfully away from the shore with the strength of massive amounts of water. Like the shape of the letter V, the waves are breaking toward the shore, and in the center in-between, even the strongest swimmer might fail to make headway. 

I got caught in a strong rip current in 1997 at one of my favorite surf-spots called Tamarack Beach in Southern California. I only realized I was that far out because the waves behind me had suddenly become "rollers" - which is a wave at its swell before the break. I looked down at one point and saw the biggest sea turtle I have ever seen. If you can imagine all of my strenuous effort to swim back to shore was failing. I was panic stricken. I was exhausted, and fast. 

Eventually, another surfer who saw me struggling told me to follow him, and we made it back safely.  

Is there a collision? Are we colliding - even as we have the same hope in common? Trying for the same destination?

Time.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,

    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3)

division

In a few days, I am heading out of town to talk about Division alongside of my brother and colleague who is talking about Unity. We humorously predetermined that we are each (possibly) better suited to talk about the reverse. Nevertheless, we are keeping our word. I will trail some of my thoughts here throughout the week.

John Stott on Conflict, "Self-love vitiates all relationships. Diotrephes (3 John 9-10) slandered (the Apostle) John, cold-shouldered the missionaries and excommunicated loyal believers - all because he loved himself and wanted to have preeminence. Personal vanity still lies at the root of most dissensions in every local church today."

anchor.

I received the sincerest apology letter this weekend from someone I give counsel to. I wouldn’t have, otherwise, anticipated the details expressed in the letter. And yet, I do feel repair. Something healed ... maybe just a tiny scratch of insecurity in me.

The burden that was revealed, brought wounds into the light. 

It doesn’t matter that the apology was unnecessary - it healed. I, recently, set out to do something undone, to start something new, and I left a myriad of questions and doubts behind.

We’re all dealing with life, and we’re all in this together.

I say it to my boys like this, “Meanwhile, back in the bat cave.” Meaning: what someone is putting out there - temperament, mood, aggression - might not have anything to do with you.

What’s going on in the bat cave?

We’re all dealing with things.

The person you applaud and the people around you - it’s all of us. It’s a pretty significant thought. I can take a spiritual turn here, but so can you. ...

We all need a Savior.

We all need an anchor.

Jesus.